Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
