Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
