Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
