just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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