I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
