wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
