are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
