Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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