how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize