Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
