Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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