But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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