Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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