I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
