i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
