Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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