I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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