Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
