Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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