but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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