Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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