Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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