You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
