What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
