I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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