how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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