i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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