if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
