you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
