I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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