I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
