whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
