Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
