I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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