I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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