In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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