Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
