the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She's the barista slut.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize