Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
