So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
