His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize