**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
