i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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