I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
