Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
