fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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