Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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