Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
