He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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