Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
