You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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