Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
