Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize