I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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