ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
