this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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