maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
