Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
