yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize