at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize