You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
