I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
