went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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