I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
