no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
