allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
