hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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