Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
