Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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